Excerpt on Being Alone

    I’ve think that I’ve had enough friends that say, “Distract yourself. Don’t try to be with other people until you find yourself.” And yes, I’ve done it and I’ve followed it. I’ve found myself trying to isolate myself because I guess the smart thing to do is “find yourself” or “don’t be with other people.” But I don’t think it helps. By forcing yourself into an unnatural state of isolation makes people believe that being isolated is the only normal thing to do. Because only by being by yourself for so long or forcing yourself not to be with other people, is forcing yourself to think that is the only way. To believe that finding yourself is the normality is believing that letting your emotions reign free is not. I’ve been by myself for over a year now and I think I’ve “found myself.” I found out that no matter how long I’m by myself, I prefer not to be. And by the time I’ve forced myself to believe it’s better to be by myself, I’ve received a response that I’m not ready to be in a relationship, which I don’t believe anyone has the authoritative judgement on such matters. I’ve been by myself and I learned a lot. I know that one gets over hurt. I know I can live without other people and I learned I can continue on that way. But, life is dull when you don’t have someone to share it with. Life is almost selfish and pointless by yourself. I know that loneliness urges a lot of desires that we avoid in our normal, sane lives. I understand that in a state of loneliness, people are not rational. But, I enjoy the idea that loneliness dares us to do things that we were afraid of doing so in our rational minds. Because when people are lonely, they feel that all their rights have been stripped from them. They feel as if they’ve been violated in every way possible. By daring ourselves, we don’t feel that we have anything left to lose.


    if you have interests with my real life

    three more days left of school

    three days to make things right

    last night i danced on a pole swinging and shit like a real champ na meen

    and now i have at least 8 bruises on my leg

    way to go iris

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